The ways your words of love became lies, Merry Christmas baby.

04 - Yule Struttin' -A Blue Note Christmas 04 Eliane Elias - I'll Be Home For Christmas, Sleigh Ride

.https://youtu.be/AEyASweDXOU

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The Aged Man of Negril , part one

The Beatles - Here Comes The Sun [1 HOUR]

https://youtu.be/7tVT6zZENm8

PUSH PLAY

The aged man stood up on his boat, a mid-sized fishing and scuba vessel he used as a way of life these days. He locked everything up for the night and hopped down onto the old wooden dock, it swayed with his weight on top of the gentle ocean currents below. He looked up at the sky, the shades of dark blue and green and grey slowly engulfing the vibrant island sunset hues of pink, purple and orange, a few stars peeked through the colors to welcome the sailor home for the evening. He walked along the pier until he reached the beach line, he opened the dock gates and closed and locked it behind. A rusty sign hung on the gate saying; “Negril Marina, Jamaica if you need assistance, please contact_______, “ but the phone number wasn't listed anymore, it had worn off with the sea air.

The aged man wasn’t old by any means, but he was no longer the young vibrant man he once had been, and walking on the sandy beach on his way to the street to pile into his car and drive home was becoming a bigger challenge daily.  But he did the same thing each day and each night. He reached his car and opened the dark door, he sat down and took his boat shoes off, he emptied the sand out and looked out towards the ocean to say goodnight. He got in his car and drove about a mile and half to his home, he parked in his empty drive and entered.

He was quickly greeted by two dogs and a cat that had decided the man's house was his own. He smiled, patted their heads and pet them, let them into the back yard, and cleaned up their messes of the day. He went to the kitchen and sat his work bag down on the table. He gently unzipped it and pulled out some large shells and a weird rusted watch he had found that day while on scuba adventures with his clients. He sat and looked at the items and for a moment he went back into his memories. He remembered a woman he had once loved. They had talked about a life together here on the island and how she would have her cafe and he would have his boat and she had told him about a dream she had where he would come to the cafe after his long days, she’d fix him a drink and he would give her “gifts from the sea” which she proudly displayed on the wooden shelves he had made for her for the cafe.
The aged man came away from his memory of the lady that loved him once and the dreams they could have shared had he made different choices when those choices were there to be made. The man's smile gently faded as he picked the trinkets up and placed them on the wooden shelves he had made for her, but that now lined the walls leading to his bedroom. He had quite a collection of gifts that were for her and he hoped, maybe, by some trick of fate, the beauty he had once adored so completely and had lost so abruptly would somehow show up there on the island and they would see each other and the love that they thought was lost would still be strong between them. He hoped fate would allow her the chance to see all the years worth of love he had still collected just for her. He hoped that day could arrive and he thought of her face as he lay down to rest for the night, a moment of sleep to ready himself for tomorrow's next set of scuba and fishing attendees. He leaned over and turned off his lamp and the darkness fell across his lonely home and his simple bed and he slept.

When the bridge is burnt between us...can we ever find new wood to rebuild?

Sometimes I wonder, when I look back at my history and the people I have loved, lost, ran from, or ran to, and I wonder if my choices were right or wrong. I have always chosen the harder path, that's just my Gypsy nature. I have never shied from the tough calls or the painful realities, but as my best friend recently told me, I need to be careful, because when I feel something, I TRULY FEEL IT. I have empathy in abundance. Now that isn't a fault by any means, but it does cause me to be rash and unsettled and act fast before thinking, very often. I say things before I know if I mean them, or as my mister would say, I text too much...but I have a great deal to say. I have always been real. That is one thing EVERY ONE of my friends can attest too. I may be exaggerated or overwhelming at times, but I am ALWAYS me. I always have been. I keep it direct and real. Honest, even when it hurts. Some of my friends appreciate that trust and honesty because they know they can say or do anything around me and I won't judge them or change my feelings towards them for being who they are. Everyone has darkness in them, and everyone has love, life, and beauty in them too.  

But sometimes I sit and wonder. In some realm or dimension, did I make different choices, am I happier, do I have more wealth but not my kids with me? Did I become famous? Did I stay with my ex-husband and did he treat me well? Did I marry Alan, instead of losing him in 911? I wonder about the science fiction side of life's rare questions but then I also wonder about the now.
Had I kept contact with one person and deleted a different one, Had I said goodbye to this one instead of that one...would my life be different now? 
I have never been super shy, and while I know many many people, I have never been the overtly outgoing one either. I was never a wallflower at parties, I always jumped right in, or would try to throw house parties and events for all my friend's and colleagues, but once the events would start, I would host and not talk... I wasn't super social, I just liked things to flow. So would I be someone different, or have moved in a different direction if I had chosen different people, and made more calculated choices instead of my fly by the seat of my pants version of life??? 
Then the question becomes totally different...

I don't always feel happy in my own skin, I suffer from Mania, not depression, although the two are often confused or combined. I have to have a catalyst to throw me spiraling into sadness, So I don't suffer from depression, just extreme empathy...but I can be manic. Even in my youth, I was often "hyper" and not easy to deal with. I sometimes wonder what role this played in my life. Did my mania have its twisted ruthless hand in all my affairs? How often did it change the outcome of what might have been? 

For those out there that may read this, and KNOW that I am talking about you, know that I loved you, and still do, and I know we had our good and bad times, and maybe, in some different realm we are still together, married, and happy, doing RHPS on our spare nights and having a blast together, I do miss you somedays and think of you often, wondering if we could have been different had we made better choices along the way. How many others out there can be this honest with themselves...Can you look in the mirror and truly accept your fears and truths about you and still be able to look YOU in the eye and say, "I love you" to yourself? its hard and never fun to know who you are so intimately, but there is a freedom in acceptance on such a level. It is not easy to change oneself even when you may know your faults, and want to expel them and place new, and better things where those once were, but accepting yourself upfront is the only way to start,.

So for the bridges I have burned, and wonder if I were wrong, maybe we can rebuild something different there...for the ones I learned from and still think on but do not regret leaving in my history, I thank you still. Can you be strong enough to accept yourself too?

The Day The World Fell Down 9/2019

On the 31st of August, 2019, I picked my mother up to go run errands for the very last time. The day was stressful and dull and started out uneventful. We went to her bank, and then to Walmart, we argued some over money, because I hadn't gotten paid yet and she was needing extra cash to fix her landlords garage. A garage she had just days before backed into after she and I had gone to the grocery store. I regret being upset with my mother that day, I was annoyed by my bills and relationship issues. It just goes to show you should never take people for granted. Because they really can be gone in an instant. 
There was nothing particularly different about that day, it was a hot 111 degrees in Las Vegas but it was a pretty day out overall. My mom had not been feeling well and had been getting lots of headaches and was, now in reflection, having several minor strokes which ultimately came to a head this bland and nothing day. 
I dropped my mother off at her place around 2 pm, she was renting a room from a harsh overbearing older lady. She had two other roommates in the house, everyone there was seniors.
I got my mom home and waited to make sure she got inside the door safely as I always did, and  I drove back my house. 
I unloaded my car of a few items I had purchased for my kiddos and me to have for dinner and went about my day. I had hoped that my boyfriend would maybe stop by for a visit, our relationship was becoming very strained by his time constraints and I didn't trust he was telling me the truth any longer, so as I often do, I texted too much and probably said too much. He was even more overwhelmed and he did not visit. 

That night I took the only pill I am allowed to take via my doctors, I took an anxiety pill that helps me fall asleep as well as a few chocolate melatonin you can buy at places like Wholefoods and Sprouts. So I started to go to bed, my mind was still reeling from my stressful day and my heart was still sad over my boyfriend, but I finally passed out. 
At 9:04 pm I received a phone call that was to be the catalyst for the rest of my September.
Eve, my mom's acquaintance, called and said she had just come to see my mother and that something was horribly wrong. My mom was unresponsive and unable to move. I told to hang up and call 911 ASAP, that my mom was having a stroke. 

That morning was to be the last morning I ever heard my mothers voice or got a hug from her. I wish I had superpowers so that I could have known and maybe stayed with her so I would have been there to save her in time. But that isn't how life normally works out. I could not drive because of my medicine, so I was stuck waiting to hear news from the hospital. 
At 11:32pm The hospital called and told me my mother had a severe, catastrophic stroke, and that a large portion of her brain had died, They needed my permission to go into surgery to try to save her life and remove the clot from her brain. She made it through the surgery and went to ICU. She only had 4 days there, then was moved to the MCU, for constant care. 
My brother flew into town, and we talked for the 1st time in 6 years. It was actually really nice, it didn't last, but it was nice to have someone here, and he really needed to make amends with our mom too.

My mother had two okay days, where she could interact with us, and nod yes or no to questions posed to her. Her right side was almost entirely paralyzed and she would never talk again or eat food again. She was very sad and in pain and confused.
While my brother was out of the room, I leaned in and asked my mother the hardest question one can ask..." momma, do you want us to take you off everything and just let you die, so you can be with your huband?"  I already knew the answer because my whole life I have always been the closest to my mother out of all the children in our brood.

She looked at me with completely understanding and nodded yes. That was to be the last time my mom was interactive with us. She slept the next 3 days at the MCU and then the doctors and care staff came to the room to discuss our options for longterm life support or hospice. My mother wanted hospice, and she was a shell of the women she had been. No longer fiesty or mouthy or asking a million questions that used to annoy me, but are now something I miss terribly.

That afternoon she was transported to the Hospice, where my brother and I would spend time by her bed, trying to give her something to hold onto while she was still with us. slowly the rest of her body started to shut down, and on 9/11/2019, the worst day for many Americans, including myself, my mother fell asleep for the last time. She was being held by my brother when she passed, so she was not alone. Which was the least we could give her.
My brother and I cried and tried to let it sink in that she was gone, it was better that way for her than the life she would have had to live, but when it's your parents, its a tough call, and a painful one.

I saw my mother twice after that. They let us see her the day she was brought to the funeral home, they had cleaned her up nicely and she looked peaceful. and then I had to see her one more time,
 the day before they took her to be Aquamated, which is a new form of cremation. Her body was cold and her skin waxy, as is the case with corpses. I had studied Forensics and Mortuary Science and had even worked in a few hospitals along my lifeline, so I was not scared of death. 

Death sat calmly by my side that afternoon, while I held my mom's hand once more just so I could make sure to remember every wrinkle and age spot on her hand. I leaned down and kissed her forehead and told her I hoped that Kim met her on the other side, and she was finally with her mother too. My mom had not had an easy life, so I had hope for a moment in an afterlife, because she deserved to have that peace finally. I sat on a chair in the room and cried so hard my chest hurt. I finally stood up, said goodbye, and walked out the door. 

_____________________________________________________________________________


Last year My family and I made it through my Cancer, my brain surgery, being completely homeless and during that time, we may have been closer than ever. We had no choice but to be. My health ordeals made me very aware of telling those around me that I loved them, very often and sometimes so much it ould be annoying. But I made sure to say it as much as I could. Because you get different eyes when your handed a possible death curse. 

I can say I am happy I had told my mother I loved her that last day out with her. we had argued, but no worse than we normally did as mother and daughter. But we still said I love you at the end.

My story here is no different than thousands of peoples every day, but the lesson should stand true...no matter the bridges crossed or the ones burnt along the way, one should always remember those that shaped you as you grew in life, good and bad, and one should NEVER, EVER, FORGET TO SAY I LOVE YOU...just in case.


To my momma, my hero, my confidant, my obnoxious reminder of my imperfections and the one person that was always there, no matter what, even when it was hard to be with her. You were a good mom, and I love you. I miss you very much now. But you are in everything I do and are part of all my memories. So thank you,
 momma. 

Homeless stories that weren't so bad PART 1

THE 1ST DAYS WERE THE WORST, AND THEN THE STORM CAME. I decided to show this blog straight out of my journal, my writing says it all, my stress and pain at the time is shown in a way that can't be described.

SORRY ABOUT THE HAND WRITING! Work through it, I DID! Please remember, I was also going through Cancer treatments during this time.

Completion, means you.

{Wet stone caressed by sunset, circled by azure waters with ocean glass sprinkles. Those are your eyes. A smile that can make time stop. I have no way to describe you. There are no words that do you justice. You are so beautiful to me.} 




I feel weak at the sight of you, yet you bring out a fight in me so strong, like a powerful storm roaring along the valley.
My soul dances in your eyes, I long to tiptoe through the liquid blue perfection, and your smile grows wider when I come into your view.
You make me feel complete.
Then to touch you, the sensations speak to my heart, with each touch, I bring you closer into me.
To lean in and caress your smokey velvet lips, to feel the tickle of your soft facial hair as you pull me closer to you and kiss me hard and full in return. 
You inspire me, my muse on rainy days. How stunning you are when sunbeams gentle enhance the natural highlights in your hair.
You are magic for my senses. My safety when I'm scared. My reassurance when I'm nervous. My Ecstacy when I'm in your arms.
It's so easy to lose myself in all that is you. I love finding myself where you are. Myself there with you, entwined in my hopes of a life with you. Folded so completely in your arms, warm in the volcanic heat that is our passion.
You are my completion. 
I become whole, from what was fragmented, just by your touch. 
Our stolen moments which have created our beginnings. I hope for what we have in store. I want to be your completion too. 

There was magic in the Arena that night.

               Azure ambiance cascading from the rigging and along the edging of the stage sets the scene. The soft roar of chatter throughout the packed arena from fans of every generation, from 6 years old to 94. A single measure of music and one strum of a guitar, and the crowd erupts, and into the darkness, the arena falls. Bright lights and colors fill the rafters, lasers and technicolor become the dream that will last for hours here in the arena, but for those that witnessed it, forever.
                The spotlights zero in on a living legend, and the lovers in the audience begin to dance and hold one another. Not a single person stayed in their seats when he began to sing. Not one. I helped a woman in a wheelchair, stand herself up, just for a moment, so she too, could giving him a standing welcome. A career that has lasted decades, and helped shape music and musicians alike, needed no introduction. Every song he sang, was an invite for the festival goers to sing along. They knew the words by heart, and you could see the joy in his eyes and that of his band when they would fall silent and the crowd would give back to them.
                 He took them on a *Magical Mystery Tour and asked them to *Dance All Night. He gave them history, and his own history. He gave them peace and things to think about when they'd leave. He invited the hoards of people to take in the dream that he and his friends began so long ago. He gifted them music to sing as they walked out the door when it was all over. He rewards us all with Love. He was joined by other rock legends and sang songs that everyone couldn't resist. Ladies still fainted for him, and fans still asked inappropriate questions to him on signs and banners, which he delighted in. There was magic in the arena that night.
                 

                  In the days and hours leading up to the show, the arena would be transformed into the setting that would become his expression of that love for all those that joined him each night he stayed. The stagehands, and arena staff, the roadies and the tour staff all in an alliance to create his masterpiece. The halls would fill with the smell of sage and lemongrass, and fresh vegetables being grilled and set for those that were working to feast on. Mojo curtains and thank you notes from fans being hung in talent rooms and open doors for the band to enter freely through.
                  Everyone was kind. Everyone was inquisitive. They gave thanks to each other in the hallways and corridors. For three days, those of us working at the arena was not working for a client, we were working with friends that we just met. The band would pat our shoulders and Paul would even say good afternoon or good evening as he passed us on his trek from start to finish. Somehow, in all his time with us, he was able to keep a bit of himself and stay humble enough to give thanks back to those that helped to give to everyone else.
                   The mutual respect given by all parties made for a delightful experience and I hope that everyone gets the chance to feel what that's like someday. He is a Rock God, by all standards, but he was a simple man, blowing a kiss to his wife in the back of the audience at the same time. There is nothing like seeing a living legend in action. There was magic in the arena in all those days.

LOVE LIKE NO OTHER BEFORE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ks1EGMlr9V0

When it is there, you know it is. There is nothing like it. This is short and sweet, The poem attached from youtube, by Mary Lambert, said it all. 

Inspirations of Monterey California

Day1 and 2:
The Pacific briskly kisses my feet as I walk along the shore excited about what this day will bring. I look forward to the laughter of the gulls, the playful sea otters and the boisterous yellings of the wild and wise sea lions. I have been told to wear my wetsuit and full gear because these waters are cold and do have sharks, whales, and dolphins. The things that would have been, and will be eventually next time. I've always wondered why they make wet suits all black, if they were stripped, sharks would never attack people...sharks don't like striped things...fun knowledge, sharks hate sea snakes. (TRY SAYING THAT SUPER FAST: Sharks hate sea snakes)

The seaside air smells of coffee, cedar fireplaces, and ocean breeze. The scent of seaweed and fish linger along the wharf and cannery row. The homeless folks of the town gather in their morning place with hopes of coffee and beer from the tourists as they pass by. Still a smile on their face for their comrades along the barrack side of the old customs museum house. No worries in this little seaside town. It's calm and beautiful, even when it's raining.

I'm sitting on the wharf at a small tea shop, drinking in the lavender sage tea homegrown here on California's coastline. The sensation of natural honey and herbs fill the air and my tongue and nostrils with every taste and breath in. The water runs softly with a calming ripple along with the inner core of the beachline, gently caressing the shore and kissing the boats as the ripples then drift back out to sea. There are seals and dolphins playing in the distance, it's a unique morning and a very igniting sight indeed. I'm caught between childhood memories of my early moments by the sea, and the hopeful dreams of my own tea shop and boutique someday, with lavender growing next to the front steps and warm arms that will greet me in the morning before the day ever begins. 

The sailboats and fishing trollies begin to leave the docks and head out to begin their days on the smooth waves as the sun begins to Caress the Pacific with her smile.
The best recommendation is a two-day ticket to the aquarium because You are certain to miss something on the 1st day.

Day 3 and 4:

Day 3, I spent the day seaside, I gathered a jar of sand for my beach collection, and seashells and sea glass, my gifts from mother ocean...she was kind today. The sun has shown most of the day and the sea air made me feel free. The freedom I don't always feel. I walked around the city and took photographs to preserve my memories of this beautiful seaside town. I would live here in an instant. I love California, I always have. 

Day 4:
My adventure today has been postponed, but not erased...strike that, It ended up canceled due to weather. Bummer...for next time instead, positive thoughts!!!! I would have been kayaking on the ocean, my greatest love. I would see the coastline as sailors do and enjoy the wildlife. 


I hear Louis Armstrong sing "What a wonderful world" from a speaker near the wharf. What a perfect song for this perfect morning. I have love in my life today, and it is wonderful to know it's there. I can't wait for what life will bring us.

Melissa "KITTY" Williams, thank you.

I met Kitty in March of 1995, at a youth group for unique and fun people...our little joke. I had a minor crush on the girl she was dating and an even bigger one on our counselor. She and I didn't hit it off as friends right off the bat, ironically enough because we both had the hots for each other at the time...though nothing ever came of that. It took us almost a year to become fast friends but once we were, we were hard to split up. We would take my convertible for long distance rides up into the mountains and then go create a discombobulation at our favorite local coffee shop on the corner of Boulder Street and Tejon in downtown Colorado Springs.
Kitty once drove around Manitou Springs with me for hours trying to help me find my teenage crushs' house so that I could leave roses for Valentine's from a secret admirer. Though my crush already knew I dug her. Lol. In hindsight that was pretty creepy. Lol...but I was trying to be romantic... in some awkward shy teenage way...Ha ha... Kitty got a kick over giving me a hard time concerning this particular matter...FOR YEARS. Lol

Kitty and I became roommates for about two years and that was about as awkward as it could get for us. I was dating someone, she was too and we only had one bed in the house. She and I used to put music on and dance around late at night in barely there shorts and tank tops and just try to see what sort of trouble we could get into around downtown. My apartment at the time was barely a one-room apartment and in keeping with tradition, we thought it would be a good idea to adopt a dog together one day. We went to the local pound and got a huge bridle mutt mix. We named him Titan. We were horrible pet parents at the time and one day we took him with us to get tattoos and he ate the roof of my Miata. Outside of frustrated because it was winter, we actually laughed the roof incident off and went for a drive to Denver to do Rocky Horror Picture show together. We figured since the roof was basically gone, we might as well put the top down and enjoy the snowy drive to Denver in proper Colorado style. Eventually, we have Titan to the neighbors next door and down the alley from us.

Kitty was never short on laughter and bad ideas that made the world a little better for those around her. I know I never had time with her where we weren't smiling and laughing. The girl was funny!

*(I will have to come back for fillers here...I keep losing track and start crying...) sorry if this jumps around a bit, it's a work in progress.*


I found out a few days ago that she passed away. I still don't think it has hit full force because how can one reconcile the death of one of the greatest friends you ever had?
I was on a cruise ship when I got the news, and now I am on an airplane about to fly into Denver, where just a week ago Kitty was still with us, fighting the good fight and being her witty self. Kitty told me once when we were much younger and full of vibrancy that she didn't think she was long for this world, so she planned to live it up, every minute, and boy did she. She could be a bit of a wild card and neither of us was always easy to be around but I wouldn't have traded this friendship for anything. She touched so many lives and brought so much excitement, charm, and rambunctiousness to those lives that the loss of her seems too overwhelming. How could she really be gone, and so soon?
I honestly started to believe Kitty was invincible, like a superhero. She was my superhero more than once. Honestly, sitting here trying to write this minor eulogy about someone I loved so dearly is extremely hard, because how can one touch on all the moments shared...all the secrets are spoken and magic that was there in our friendship. How can you really put to simple words the magnitude of what one person did in a lifetime, and how much they meant to all those around them, how much she meant to me. How do you even begin? There are those that knew her better than I, and some who just barely got a glimpse of her wonder, but there was something incredible about Kitty, something infectious that pulled people to her like a magnet. She had the voice of an angel and I often mixed up if Kitty was singing or Stevie Nicks was...her talents were insane, she had a knack for comedy and music, a knack for knowing people's drinks and how to make them perfectly. She was one hell of a stylist too...she was both my redeemer and my bringer of bad habits ... and again, I wouldn't trade a single moment of the times we had together.

I can't begin to know the pain her family feels, and I hope that where ever
Kitty is, she knows how much all of us will miss her and how loved she really was.

Thank you Mel, for the life shared girl, and for all the memories. Xoxoxo.

When the Ice is finally broken, and the world starts to be whole again...that's where I find you.

"It's wild when the silence is finally broken. How strange it seemed to hear your voice again, like we had just met and you were a complete stranger. However, the familiarity between us was glaring and the strength it took to just say hello was like acrobatics without a net. I'm glad it happened though. I'm glad the ice was broken and the mirrors shattered. It's been a strange place not having you around...a weird void. Even if it was just for a moment, a fleeting second or two, it was nice to be in the same place as you and it not be a fight , or a fear, just a normal conversation with an old friend."

          Does anyone else ever wonder why rifts begin? Why the distance grows and how it ever started. How can something whole become half with no warning? (No, I am not talking about my personal love life here...to my friends who will wonder...we are grand bananas still...) But seriously, I was sitting back thinking of the people I personally have distanced myself from over the years, or have done so to me, and I realized, in many cases, there is so much I miss of those people being in my world. I don't regret the losses, but I somehow reminisce about the memories of how we were. As a person who lived in her past for far too long, I find it hard to let go, and when I finally did recently, a person from my past popped back in just to say hello. I truly never thought this person would speak to me again, but there it was, a note, on my phone and a quick message saying hey...their version of an I'm sorry too...and it was awesome. Forgiveness happened somehow, somewhere, and without any reason to it. It made me think, why do, as people, go about our days letting go of people we have loved and never even trying to rectify to issues that cause the rifts between us...???? Why do we let go of someone that we made time for once. What brings us all to that place where we feel like the choice is goodbye, never again, instead of trying to find a path through the dark side and find each other again... why do we do what we do?

So that's the philosophical question of the week, lets all discuss shall we??? WHY DO WE DO WHAT WE DO?

For what its worth, and if those eyes ever read this blog, it was pleasure hearing from you again, I'm glad you broke the ice.

"Welcome Back Kotter!"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZzEzDkeHzI

When you fall in love, and the magic ACTUALLY HAPPENS!

They say it shows up when you least expect it to. They say it hits you like a ton of bricks too! They also say that sometimes you can't even stand the person at first, and then suddenly they do something that changes your world forever. They even say that sometimes it sneaks up on you and then there's the one where "You just know it when it shows up." 

I think we found that last one. I think it just showed up and blew us both away, because we both just sort of knew right off the bat that the other one was just right. We have time between us, we have differences and yet, when its just us, and we are just together, nothing is better than time with you.

I look at the world through different eyes again. Not rose tinted, not Disney inspired, but just like a magic lens has made the world shiny and new, and every time you step into the camera view, it's only you I see. It has nothing to do with looks, sex, movements, habits or money...it's the way you make my heart smile, the way you make my soul full, and the way you look back at me when I am looking at you. I look forward to all that the future holds for us; a hope I haven't held in my stone cold heart for many years. You even made me a cuddler again. I love kissing you when you get home from work, and sitting watching TV and Hockey games with you. I love that we can do theatre, live music, or just paperwork together and it is never dull. Thank you for being you and for making me feel grounded and yet in a dream at the same time. You are wonderful and I love loving you babe.

So here's to us Randy, cheers honey, I can't wait to see where we go...